Making Space for the New
I am such a fan of giving the Lord space. Some may call this surrender, but I like the idea of giving Him space, as my tendency is to always fill mine up to the brim. It has been a journey, allowing Him to move and to fill empty room in my life with new and beautiful things. Sometimes I find that I have a tight grip on things that were never really mine to begin with: jobs, positions, groups, people, dreams and the list goes on. Those things are valuable to me and add so much purpose to my existence, so it makes it hard to surrender them, even when I feel the urge to. You know that gentle or sometimes not-so-subtle nudge from God to let go of something? It feels offensive and frustrating at first. In shock, we think, you wouldn’t ask me to lay THAT thing down. No way, this can’t be right, so it must be opposition.
The last job I had was full of enjoyment and excitement. The environment was relaxed, the building was filled with constant laughter and the people were some of the most creative I knew. I was serving an incredibly fun and visionary CEO and some days felt like I was getting paid to just show up and be myself. Things were really good, and somehow I still felt an invitation from the Lord to leave my job. I wish I could say I surrendered my position with faith and left with confidence, but that was not the case. Naturally, I denied the feeling for weeks and weeks, until I couldn’t anymore. It wasn’t my dream job, but it was a company everyone wanted to work for and it also put a check in my account twice a month, so why would I leave? I came up with many reasons why the surrender option didn’t make sense. Instead of imagining all of the space that would open up to chase dreams and invest in new ventures, all I could think about is what I would lose.
It is easier to see the cost of laying things down then imagine what could be created out of it. Perhaps, because we are much more aware of the pain attached to letting it go. What we can’t see are the beautiful dreams He wants to fill that gap with that are beyond what we have imagined or come up with on our own. So, when I said I was a fan of giving the Lord space, I meant that I am a fan of His faithfulness, His goodness and what gets built with Him in the moments where trust is the only option. What I am not so fond of is the abandonment of control that happens in the letting go. Giving in to surrendering our tight grip on control can even feel painful, foreign and cutting, because sometimes we think we know what’s best for us. This refining is where character is built and trust is established.
I am a hardcore do-er. I love checklists, productivity and getting things done. I am sure many of you can relate. I come alive in creating and accomplishing and I feel purposeful in the execution and completion of tasks. So, when I felt a nudge from the Lord to take a few things off my plate recently, I felt like I was being asked to sacrifice my first born. (Don’t fret, I don’t even have a first born.) That’s dramatic, but for someone who is fueled by the doing, the invitation felt costly and high stakes. I didn’t trust the Lord had my best in mind right away, in fact I ignored Him for a bit. He didn’t tell me I had to do this, nor did He force me into anything, one day I finally just chose to consider the nudge I felt. What would it be like to lay those things down? It would hurt and feel devastating at first, I was sure of that. But I finally came to the realization that I wouldn’t die. In fact, the feeling of not knowing who or what I would be without certain things, felt like codependency.
I couldn’t see exactly what laying these things down was unto, but as I considered the invitation He was extending, I could feel the grace to let them go. I didn’t need to see the end — I trusted Him, but it still felt hard. As I surrendered various things I was building and praised for, I started to feel like I had too much space in my life. I was afraid I might get bored, that I was being lazy or perhaps afraid to actually have to feel pain that I didn’t want to face. Surrender is not always simple. Sometimes you become so consumed with the all encompassing tasks in front of you that you are oblivious to the Lord’s nudge. Other times, it feels safer just to keep His nose out of our business altogether, in case He says something we don’t want to hear. We think if it’s His will He will take it away. Well, not necessarily. You see, the Lord will never force Himself on us. He is not the kind to take and grab, He is much more invitational than that. He simply leans into suggesting other options, usually much better ones. It is easy to trust that He has better things for us when we hate the thing we are holding onto, but when we love that thing and it has become attached to our identity, we wouldn’t dream of laying it down.
I won’t leave you all hanging; I did leave that job. Although I had no idea what was next, it just felt right. You know the feeling. By the way, none of my fears came true: although there were months of constant space, my connections with my co-workers didn’t end, I didn’t end up broke or homeless and I didn’t lose my sense of identity. In fact, I stepped into some of the things that had only been a dream before. As I reflect on this decision I made with the Lord, I can recount numerous moments like this in my life where letting go of the old only made way for the new. I’m reminded of His faithfulness in my story, as I’ve chosen to take things off my plate in this season. Just like always, He has filled that empty space with more of the dreams that used to scare me. I have decided to give up the limiting belief that this is as good as it gets.
It only gets better, but here’s the catch to following Jesus: He doesn’t always give the spoilers before the story starts. You have no idea where the finish line is or if it even exists at all. The beauty is in taking a risk and running the race anyway. If you think of your life as a movie, you won’t know the ending before you push play, but you can get a pretty good grasp of the overall idea by watching the trailer. So here’s that synopsis for you: He wants to give you life in its fullness. He wants to outdo your grandest request, your most unbelievable dream and He wants to blow the socks off of your imagination. Simply put, this story is all about you having the time of your life. So whenever you feel yourself putting the invitation down and hiding it under a pile of bills where no one else will find it, remember that space belongs to Him and He has really wild gifts He wants to give you.
Where are you feeling the invitation to make space?
